In order to achieve happiness and self-love you must first love your self.
Stand in front of a mirror and look at your reflection. Rather than allowing your mind to do the usual and pick apart your appearance look at your eyes. Focus your mind to continue to look into your eyes for one minute. Smile and then say 'Hello (your name).' You have just met your new best friend.
We have been trained to not love ourselves
Think about it. There are so many negative forces in this world telling you that you are not good enough, not beautiful, not smart, etc. We have taken the false information from the world and made it truth in our minds. This is hurting our relationships with others and most importantly ourselves.
The world has placed false negative labels on us and we unknowingly accepted them as truth.
Learning to love yourself and be best friends with yourself is crucial in order to find peace and joy in life. If you hate yourself then you will begin to hate on others. Having hate in your life is going to hold you back. It is time to clean your mind of all the hate mail and learn to refill it with self-love.
My Realization
A few years back I had my first heartbreak by a boy I had dated for two years. It was completely devastating for me and for days I laid in bed and just sobbed. Eventually, I got out of bed and was functional but, I would cry all the time. I would have melt downs if my roommates were not home and I was alone. I cried in the car when I had to drive myself to school. I would go to the bathroom and sob in the shower. I realized, I hated myself and that I did not want to be alone. I had spent two years relying on somebody else to make me feel loved because, I did not know how to love myself.
Learning to Love Yourself is Difficult
Unfortunately,there is no magic quick fix to learn self-love
Once I realized my problem I knew I need to improve because, you can't rely on others to make you feel lovable. I began looking for things to love about myself. There was a lot of junk in my mind and it was time to clean it out. I began with allowing myself to try new things and see what hobbies I personally enjoyed. Become more forgiving with yourself. Stop believing the negative thoughts that immediately come to mind and when they do come replace them with three positive thoughts about yourself. I have been working on this and over-time have noticed I do not linger on the negative and let it affect me. If you want to work on just one thing right now the best thing to do is focus on reversing the negative comments into three positive statements about yourself.
Being Alone is Okay
My younger-self would have read that statement and immediately disagreed. I thought being alone was the worst thing in the world. In high school I was shy and did not have many friends. At lunch time if my friend I would normally would eat with was not there I would go hide in my car because, I was too ashamed to sit down at a table alone.
I now look for alone time. I find moments in my day where I can reflect and have quiet time. I often times will sit alone outside in the sunshine and just think. Learning to spend time with yourself gives you time to get to know yourself and who you are. Finding your identity is a crucial part of life and key to loving yourself.
You Can Do it!
Right now, that little voice inside your head is telling you it doesn't matter and that you are fine the way you are now. You need to follow three steps to stop that voice.
1. Give that little voice a name.
-For example I call my little voice Plankton (yes from Spongebob.)
2. Tell that voice "Not today (name), you are not the boss of me."
- Example: Not today Plankton, you are not the boss of me.
3. Begin to do and believe the opposite of that negative voice.
-When you stop giving plankton the power he loses power.
You have a bright and amazing mind and it time for you stop letting the negative voice inside your head hide it. Take the power back and let your light shine.
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